


Soft Sell

by Obscure_Shadow



Category: The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Gen, Not Canon Compliant, Tony Stark Not Recommended Report, not SHIELD friendly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-28
Updated: 2019-01-28
Packaged: 2019-10-18 12:53:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 544
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17581223
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Obscure_Shadow/pseuds/Obscure_Shadow
Summary: Tony responds to the 'Tony Stark Not Recommended' report after the Expo. He doesn't respond in the way that Fury might have hoped. There are hard times in store for SHIELD after this.





	Soft Sell

Fury’s got a frown on his face, a kind of unhappiness with Tony etched into the lines around his eyepatch. Tony couldn’t be pressed to care though, he’s entertaining himself very thoroughly with the file in his hands. Several times Fury has reached out to take it from him with a ‘If you’re not going to take this seriously, Stark’ comment or two, but Tony just keeps it out of his reach and swats at his hands each time as he wipes away a tear and continues reading.

Words like: narcissist, self-absorbed, reckless, loner, dangerous, loose canon cover the pages in the worst attempt of ‘reading Tony Stark’ that Tony’s ever seen. He’s had these sorts of workups done on him before, by medical, business and military personnel all his life and this one has got to take home some sort of medal for the epic levels of badly attempted bullshit ever put to paper. It reads like someone went online and found every bad photo of Tony and used them to prove some random theory of his ‘personality defects’ with no real research behind it all just for shock value.

He’s read better from the National Enquirer and he kind of expected more from Fury.

“Sorry Nick,” Tony says as he hands the file back. “I’m not interested in being a part of your top-secret boy band.” Fury gets a kind of smirk that Tony doesn’t think the moment calls for as he slides the file back towards him.

“Keep reading.” Fury says and Tony takes a moment before curiosity over how bad this can continue to get hits him and he opens it again and lets Fury guide his eyes to where he wants them.

“Iron Man yes, Tony Stark not recommended.” Tony snorts at those words and he laughs at Fury’s irritated face. “Ah, thank you for that. It’s been a bad week, I needed a pick me up.” Tony closes the file and slides it back. “As I was saying, I’m not interested in being part of your top-secret boy band.”

“We weren’t offering.”

“Sure you weren’t.” Tony says with a sort of indulgent, mocking nod. “Of course, that’s exactly what this whole song and dance is about.”

“Romanoff’s report is-”

“Romanoff is fired.” Tony responds. “And before you say ‘you can’t do that’, um, yes I can. Also, Romanoff is the star of a suit that Pepper is bringing against SHIELD for spying, lying on legal documents, unauthorized injection of unknown substances and harassment. Not to mention the one we’re penning up against Agent and SHIELD for threats, unauthorized imprisonment, breaking and entering and who knows what else.” Fury stares at him with that one eye. “But sure, Tony Stark not recommended.” He winks at him. “Good luck with that.” He stands and motions to the door. “The way out is this way right? Sorry I’ve got to fly. I’ve got an awards meeting to get to and a senator who has agreed to kiss my ass in front of the cameras after Rhodey got done with him.” Tony slides on his jacket and blows Romanoff a kiss as he walks past her and out the door.

Tony Stark not recommended. He’s never heard anything funnier in his life.


End file.
